Miss Vasantham - Second Elimination

I am back so here we go again. I am gonna get this shit KLKickin'. It's always some TV programme getting into my path if you noticed. As cool, calm and collected as I can be, I pose to you this question: Why the fuck was radika eliminated? The next in my "You're so dead" list is the road to becoming miss vasantham 2006. Didn't wanna touch on this coz I knew my fellow KLKillahs were already sharpening their knives, but, no. Someone had to get me agitated. Not that I've been faithful to every episode but what I have been watching somehow bewildered me. So here we go, let the bitching begin!

Miss Vasantham 2006 comprises of 3 rounds.

1st round: Modelling Round Contestants will parade in elegant costumes to showcase their beauty, poise and confidence. Every fortnight, there will be a different theme for the costumes like traditional Indian wear, modern Indian wear, bridal wear, evening gown, etc.

2nd round: Talent Round This is a new round that is being introduced in Miss Vasantham for the first time. This round will be shot entirely outdoors with multi cameras. Contestants will have to perform an outdoor activity decided by the producers of the pageant. The winner of this segment will receive immunity from being eliminated from that round of competition.

3rd round: Chit Chat Round. This will test their intelligence. Contestants will chat with the host on a given topic.

(The above information was found in the official miss vasantham 2006 website)

Finally I get to wipe the cobwebs outta the digits 0 and 5 in my set up box. While the digits 2 and 9 seem all so polished, I was hoping I'd deserve something worth watching finally. And with the sun TV domination slowly losing its footing on the driver's seat, I was hoping Vasantham central would take the honours. When I enthusiastically tune in to watch Miss Vasantham, I see a half fucked beauty pageant. Honestly, this isn't the most convincing of shows to be watching on a already boring Sunday afternoon. First of, who are these people making the critical decisions?

A hindi model who doesn't know nuts about speaking tamil, Najib Ali who thinks that the contestants should be looking like a 'minah' and Rafi whom I suspect is just jerking himself behind that desk of his. Can someone e-mail me why these judges were chosen? Sunita Rai wouldn't even know it's sarcasm if we were to pronounce her name as "Sunni Thaa" Rai. And this is an Indian show. We expect our contestants to speak in tamil. That's basic for any Indian beauty pageant. [Editor: Very interesting point. What exactly are they marketing it as? A Tamil pageant, or an Indian pageant? If it was Indian, then the lingua franca of the show should have been English, in all frankness]

I wouldn't mind if Kumar was the judge but why Najib Ali? That's like Kumar judging Miss Suria (The Malay version). And rafi, I personally hate. Now, if you ain't been up to date on the latest happenings, wonder no more, I'll open up the doors to your jealous questions. From the first day to the last episode I watched:

1^st Round: You call this the modeling round? I saw an elephant in black and black with a gold belt that was sitting on her tummy rather than her hips. Oh wait, you mean that was her hip that the belt was sitting on? You're supposed to be elegantly dressed sweetheart, not elephantly dressed. Some came in jeans and a top. Are you outta your damn mind? This is not raagawoods my dear, it's a beauty pageant.

2^nd Round: I applaud the producers for coming up with something new at last but then again, I'd say the talent round was a flop. Come up with something more worth watching la. You think we'd get entertained watching contestants making flowers and an overfed buffalo making a dog out of a balloon? My twelve year old niece refused to eat after watching her do that. What the fuck has showcasing a women making a dog outta balloon got to do with her getting a step closer to winning the pageant? What the heck, I'd make dinosaurs outta milo dinosaur. Most gilmas were displaying their secondary school dance steps while the north Indian contestant took it a step further by showcasing how her bhangra nights were of a good handful. And yea, what's with the doink who was strumming some Indian tune outta the guitar? And I've got to add that even the strumming of the guitar wasn't fluent.

And yea, if this deep-voiced dipsy sings one more time, I will personally take a cab down to mediacorp to shuff a dildo up that ass of Rafi who later went on to praise on her 'nice voice' and how good it was for the radio". What the fuck are you mad? She sounds like kamalhassan! [Editor: Cue, Vikram the movie circa 1986. I have the mp3. Buzz me] I can understand that her voice is good for the radio. Coz she can neva make it on TV.

Wait a minute. Is she from mars or pluto? Can you see the colour contrast? Were you rushing for the pagent that you forgot to remove the face mask? [I think let's leave "046" outa this mess. A case of just bad powder, badder lighting. But I'll leave it on, considering you're already halfway schizo by now. :)]

Where's the fluency in the strumming of the guitar my dear? That ain't your strength don't you feel? Or is that the best of ability that you have? Don't forget, everything counts for us. Even one mistake and we'll start fucking you. That's the cruel world.

Now, this, is the bangra night women. And if you watched the show, you'd have seen how she ran her mouth realising that she was out of the pageant. How sweet she was indeed.



Who the fuck did her hair? Doesn't she look like the grand daughter of the famous man below?

Just to benefit those who're wondering, this is Einstein.

3^rd Round: Chit chat round? Is that how you name one of the rounds of a beauty pageant? You dare talk about the contestants not showing severity? Where did all that seriousness go when you named this round? And the questions asked match the name of the round. I see a lack of intelligence in the questions asked. Ask something more intelligent la. And cut that fake slangs off ya. We all know how you sound when you talk at home. So do us a favour, be more comprehensible. Whether your slangs are canadian or not, you sure do sound like a comedian.

I think that it's rather important that contestants know that winning this pagent means that they're gonna become an ambassador. So it's relatively important to put up something smarter in the talent contest. Making health drinks or dancing or making a dog outta a balloon only shows how much you lack creativity. Like that I can get my aunty from tekka to showcase her 'ondeh ondeh' making skills mah.


If ya'll know the contestant barathi (above), please tell her that she made me blush. She sounded more chinese than I can. And please be corrected on one thing my dear, it's alcohol and not echo-hol. And even your "I wanna speak good ingrish but I cannot help it lor coz I live in sin chia po" slang sounds worse than the aunty who sells hokkein mee with extra chilli near my place. Bear in mind, this is Miss Vasantham. Not miss Chennai.

On a personal note, I gotta add that I was utterly disappointed. When no one else but Radika makes me tune in to the television to watch miss vasantham just to hypnotise me for that hour and thirty mins, it's sad to see my eye candy leave just like that. But it's like adding ajinomoto to your wound when another one of your favourite has to stun the show. But then again, if you've got to go, you've got to go. I'll be missing you. Adieu Fajariah. Adieu Radika. [Editor: NNB. Is it you're tryin to get with the eliminated chicks?]

And for the lucky souls who remain, though some know they damn sure didn't deserve to stay, thank your lucky stars that you've got another chance. Do something out of the blue. Give us a reason to shut up and not poke fun at you. Say something smart. Nevermind if we know it's bullshit that you're talking. I'll be right by the TV this sunday evening. Let's hope I'll get lost for words (from the positive angle)
Have you heard the terms ranting, raving mad before? Praba was a nice sweet child with good hair till he caught this disaster showcase on TV. Now, he is a full blown junkie, with undercut Malaysian motorbiker hair and has shaved "KLK" onto his scalp. He has typed this while still being restrained in his straitjacket. We all feel and share in his pain and hope they will discharge him from Woodbridge in due time, enough to catch the crowning of the winner with the rest of us. Tick tock. Tick tock.

miss vasantham. vasantham central
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