Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Ok, it is upon us. The 2nd of the top 3 happenings of the Yindian KLKalendar. The festival of Thaipusam. Following top spot Deepavalli and a bigger event than closely tied third of Panguni and Thimithi.

We hope you have your spokes sharpened, your bolts tightened, your washers washing and your milk cartons safely ensconced within that 14 footer lorry you had to loan for the event. If you are aiming for a 12 am - 3 am departure, smart move. If you are doing the 6pm - 9 pm departure, good luck to you la brudda.

The KLKillahs may or may not be at one or both of the temples doing what we always do. Attending to KLKavadis, the single ones will be making eyes at KLKannu Kuttis and paying homage to the warrior of warriors, Karthikeyan.

As we might be busy with our various duties and ad hoc preparations, this is an appeal to all our KLKlanites to enjoy the marvels of documenting this important happening of the year by sending in photos and videos of the event. Put your digicams and video cams and phones to good use. Show us the glory and the numbnuts who spoil it for everyone. Be it an official or a devotee. We await your materials for a post-Thaipusam post.

Also, be on the lookout for our fellow KLKommunity members who insist on treating a holy event like their Halloween. Photos / Vids of these select entities are much desired and you will be credited accordingly in participating in your virgin KLKulling. A cash reward for the best photograph or video recording is also contemplated and we will let you know if the response is good enough. If however, you are a vendor of the privacy act and you in actual fact are afraid of getting caught in the act of being Photographer of the Year, do realize that most cameras have up to 8X zoom these days. Stay a safe distance and snap away.

Now, we close. And here's a shout-out to Praba to have a splendid procession tomorrow. Dance like you have happy feet my friend. I'll leave you with our very own KLKillah last year, and this year.

Vetri Vel Murugan Style

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Monday, January 29, 2007

KLKustomers - Tekka Sunday Special

This dual purpose post is to introduce a new playa in the field, MystiKal, and to also thank all our dear and loyal readers who take precious company time in order to visit us on a daily basis. Purely relying on my stats program, our viewers from Mecsb, MDA, BMC, IBM, Google, Drilmaco, 01 Computer System, Gulf Agency, SMU, National Healthcare Group, Singapore American School, Deutsche Bank and Spring Singapore, you are thanked. Do spend more time trawling through our archives, the world's economy can always wait but humour is never something you can be patient about.

My dad's got a shop in Tekka. Right next to Saravan Bhavan no kidding. It's supposed to be his 'hobby'. Orchid Pharmacare. Sells everything from condoms to ayurvedic stuff that makes u "lepaskan spring" without a sweat. Well i've been spending most of my Sundays rotting there. "Learning business" according to dad. Keeping him happy so i continue to get my allowance according to me.

Sundays are filled with 3 kindsa KLKustomers.

The Expatriate Families

Recently got reunited in SG and consider a full tiffin meal at Saravan Bhavan a 'Sunday Special' They have the entire extended family over as well. Two primary school aged children, u know.. the planned kids, and the lil dude.. the "accident" from when they were here last year without the oldies.

Roaming around the lane after stuffing themselves next door, the wife will walk in first, sometimes pretty hot stuff (hot Northie MILF dehh) making a beeline straight for the cosmetics section. Then the burping Dad and the rest. The kids start grabbing everything in sight and i've got to mentally catalogue what to put back in its place before MY dad gets to the shop.

The wife is taking every thing.. looking at it, turning it over and putting it back at the wrong place.. We have this cosmetic line called Shahnaz Hussain, they put gold in everything and i think its pretty popular in India. She starts gushing to the husband 'Oh, they have Shahnaz here!' And they basically comment on the shop having everything they want and after like 15 mins, the Dad walks up to me and goes "Do you have anything for gas?" this is like the cue i think, the oldies start going out first, smacking the heads of the kiddos running around asking them to get out.

It's like part of their afternoon, go to shop, buy a $1 dollar strip of meds that takes care of the heartburn from the "pukul mati" rice meal, enjoy the air-conditioning, treat the place like a museum and basically giving someone like me work to rearrange the mess they caused. KLKuality time these people spend. Not a cent more.

The Reluctant PRs

These guys I think nreally wish they were back in India. Looking for Indian Ayurvedic stuff and all those herbs 'Made In India'. They got their noses so far up their own asses they cant parallel park.

I dislike dealing with some of these people and you will see why. There are some pretty decent PRs over here, but when they go to shops, they are absolute nightmares.

"This costs 60 rupees?!? And you are selling it for $6 dollars?!?" [By exchange rate, 60 rupees = Approx. $2.40]

This is the most common comment, I usually let it slide. But when dad's around, God help the bugger. "Eh hello, then u go to India and buy ok? put it down, NO, i dont want to sell to you." It doesn't end there, the dude still goes on! And my dad is a pretty intimidating fella, no kidding. "What kind of shop is this!? Have u heard that customer is king?" then dad gives the KLKustomary punchline "This is my fucking shop, my fucking products and I'm fucking KING.. you get the fuck out before i call the police and charge you with criminal trespass!". [Editor's note: Technically, you can't charge anyone for trespass in a retail establishment unless you have stated clearly that you are only serving an exclusive clientèle]

Next up is the Info Digger. He functions like a KLKoogler. He walks into the shop like he knows wad he's doing, goes up to the staff, talks for half an hour about this particular medicine that we sell. After learning all there is to know about it and when we assume he's gonna buy it, he pulls out his plastic bag. He's got the very same product in it and he tells us straight in the face, "Mustafa is selling it for 50 cents less". Why do people insist in arguing with me over dumb things like why i cant give them prescription medicine whereas in India its available over the counter.

"You know, I'm actually a doctor in India, the GOVVVERNNMENT HHASSSpittal will give me the medicine and u cannot?!"

We have a pet phrase for these folks. The people who pay 1 Star prices and expect 5 Star treatment.

The Indian workers

The poor people most Singaporeans have grouses against [though most of the time through no fault of theirs].

Now i have a soft spot for them, cos they really are pretty hardworking ok. And I've heard thousands of sob stories, but that does not exclude them from this KLKustomer 'Sunday Special'. They come late evening.. (duh i know) wait till they've finished all vegetable shoppping, money put aside for black cat and red bull in the back alley, the remainder is left for the medicine. The most common case is fungal infection of the groin. [Usually caused by long hours in the same clothes drenched with sweat under the tropical sun]

Practically all of them have it! Just observe, they aint really putting their hands in their pockets to take anything or be cool, but to reach down and scratch their nuts. And they will come into the shop in groups of 5. Now these 5 are like a tribal council, one of them is the patient whose balls are on fire, but very likely they will give a story about one of their friends back in the work site suffering the ailment.

One is the critique, he will be convincing them to go see a doctor,that put soap will never be enough etc. The other is the financial control, he'll say its too expensive, most of the time because for some reason, even though the med is not for him, he pays for it. Maybe they got some sorta system worked out, like they take turns to pay for meds. and the 4th fella is the satisfied customer that recovered from HIS problem and brought the whole posse to the shop, the 5th is not part of the EXCO, just a Standard Member, so he agrees with everything everybody says, often muddling up everything.

Selling these dudes ANYTHING, you've got to convince all 5 of them. And that tube of cream u show them will be scrutinised upside down inside out for christ knows wad reasons. Living by the creed "Dont buy unless gonna die". No wonder the turnover is so high.

KLKustomers Tekka 'Sunday Special' has now concluded it's exclusive broadcast. In line with the gahmen's desire for higher standards of customer service, watch out for more Yindian shopper behavioural analysis in the coming months.

Thaipusam Garage Sale

Well, we all know the 2nd hand market for kavadi frames is white hot this season. It should have ended right about now as everyone is preparing for some final assembly. The market for styrofoam, velvet, faux fur, mee siam trimmings, glitter and a motley crew of screws and washers also peaks at around this time every year.

We dusted off the dust from one of our vacuum sealed packets of long forgotten clothes and managed to unearth a rare find. This my friends, is a previously cared for, authentic Jazz Collezione silk shirt. Jazz is a fine boutique dedicated to dressing fine individuals usually of Yindian descent [next to the KFC in AMK Central]. In perfect condition, once you iron it right. No discolourations, no mould and will fit a size L loosely or a size XL snugly.

Don't delay. Yours for only this limited time only. Offer valid only till the eve of Thaipusam [Feb 1st] and will not be repeated till the next one. Don't miss your chance to own this relic of the late 1990s which many still parade around with reckless abandon.

Profess your Manithan Paathi Mirugam Paathi attributes. Just check out the fine detailing in the "lion head" buttons / cufflinks.

Best offer wins it. Self collect at a pre arranged venue. E-mail me if you want to be the fashion icon of this year's festival.

Friday, January 26, 2007

The Real Freedom

It’s a sad day for any politically aware adult. The exclusive political climate of Singapore has never perturbed me as much as it has today. It’s time to re-examine freedom of speech(limited or otherwise) and evaluate its new boundaries. Somebody changed the status quo and forgot to tell me about it so lets take the civic-minded route and disseminate this to the general public.

Initially, the blogosphere excited me because I could air my views, leave redundant commentaries and generally whine in anonymity without having to obtain a permit from our friendly neighborhood police post. This seemed like the one medium relatively lacking in a system of checks and balances. My mind was swiftly changed when the Sedition Act was invoked in 2005 (on the Internet, no less). Imagine my horror when I read Keling Killahs today and realized that this system of checks and balances does not only stop at preventing heinous racial crimes.

“do u posess a degree in film and media studies? cos if u dont,or even f u do, u have no right to comment on the hard work and effort put in by those who know what they are doing.”

Readers please take note that from this moment onwards, it is only appropriate to pass constructive criticism or comments (yes even on the internet) if, I repeat IF you have a degree in the relevant field that you so choose to air your opinion about.

In fact you may only complain about the government if you have a political science degree. (Let me check and get back to you on whether honors is required to exercise the above mentioned right) Even then, we should not be so presumptuous as to assume that all aspects of the government falls under our jurisdiction of discernment or commentary.

What about if we want to complain about increasing GST or CPF schemes perhaps? It is imperative to possess an economics degree before we decide to make any pertinent (or not) statements regarding anything remotely economical in nature. Next time you so choose to complain about your neighborhood S11 mee goreng standard, please make sure you possess some sort of certification on culinary skills. (A bachelor's degree would give one most validation of course)

“and furthermore, u are as superficial as what u right about, and damn fucker you are as ugly as a beetroot and u go around commenting on other people. god was having a a bad day when he created u”

Forget about having entertaining, tongue-in-cheek, quasi-watchdog sites for the local media because apparently the minute you do, you are relegated to the lower classes of aesthetics. Apparently even God ( what about if ah_neh is atheist, the theory cancels out no?) suddenly thinks you’re ugly and somehow conveys this message to the person doing the checking and balancing. Paradigm shifts in internet freedom are really hard to catch up with. It seems like freedom of speech is not only a reflection of our political culture but providence’s mood swings as well. (By the way, I wonder if the enraged comment- watchdog possesses a degree in aesthetics appreciation.)

“so quit commenting on the local media industry and fucking get a life, or if u think u are capable of making great programes, then joing the damn industry and start making programmes,”

Copy that. Let me repeat one more time. You can ONLY comment on bad tasting mee goreng:

a) if you think you are capable of making better mee goreng

b) if you can supplement by becoming part of the mee goreng industry.

This of course is an analogy that applies to all aspects commented on or criticized about. “that u ur majesty feelis right for the viewing public. because u are nuthing but an asshole fill with hot air and waste” On an off-tangent note, why is it that human beings engage truism as insults? Doesn’t the human body contain waste at some point of time or another? (asshole..haha) It’s a sad day for biology enthusiasts as well but we’ll do biology in another post. So children remember, the internet is NOT a free agent or entity, not even partially as we all so naively believed. In fact divine disdain, relegation to ugliness and other such deserving punishments will befall the individual who so chooses to criticize or comment freely next time.

Now for the sake of the politically non-apathetic, exactly which part of the constitution propagating freedom of speech does this violation fall under?

On a more somber note, it seems like hell would freeze over before our people are ready for a real democracy. I remember the times where I may or may not have held the powers that be responsible for this phenomenon of stifling. Now I realize that it is the individuals (however marginal) that make up our civilized (heh) society that are essentially responsible to this.

With people actually coming right out to tell you NOT to make a comment because you have no RIGHT to, it is safe to withdraw civilized as a prefix to society. We have to quell our inner liberalists because even when our rights have been clearly demarcated, there will inevitably be morons who will come and tell you to NOT make comments. I wonder how long it will take for the Indian society AS A WHOLE to attain political maturity.

Editor's Note:

I am shocked. Where did this woman drop out from? Linguists' Lodge? I take this opportunity to welcome Nethia, the newest KLKlanite into the fray. Expect more thought provocation in her later editions. [I believe she promised biology next] Eccentrics beware, deviations from normal behaviour only make you abnormal and not logical orators. On a personal note, maybe the detractors would be so kind as to start up their own site extolling the virtues of local TV. Perhaps that would keep your eyes off the filth, we depraved souls write here.

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

SI Podcast: Episode 1

Our friends from have come up with the inaugural Tamil podcast in Singapore. This first episode is a KLKlassic parody of every Yindian's dream friendship, Deva-Surya in Thalapathi.

A good way to brush up on your anjadi language, which is basically Tamil, Malay and Madras slang interspersed into everyday speech. Because it's much cooler saying "mesti" than well we can't even find a Tamil equivalent in 2 syllables.

Do leave your comments, lollu or jollu at their webpage. And a big up to Sugmad, our avid reader who had a large part to play in this launch.

Download Link [right click, save target as]

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Feb 07 Featured Blog: Route 79

Featured Blog of the week: Route 79 - Reflections on a bus journey home

This blog belongs to a Punjabi couple living in the UK, and how they try to retain semblances of their Indian heritage, mainly through food and contacts with other displaced Indians all over the globe.

The best things about this blog:

1. Food galore

Pan right and you will see a looooong column with a list of recipes from the humble aloo gobi to the tantalising Rogan Ghosh. They have recipes that span the entire Indian continent. And every recipe comes with clear and concise pictorial instructions, so even if you have never been in a kitchen, you can follow along quite easily without burning the kitchen down. If you, like me, love to eat, but don't have the cooking thing together, then you can just drool over the pictures.

2. Global Recognition

They were voted in the Weblog Awards 2006 in the best UK blog category. And the only Asian/ British blog to be voted in.

3. Nitty Gritty

All the little tidbits of gossip, irritation and joys about living in a foreign country (foreign to us, anyway). From posts as mundane as queueing for the ATM to murder and mystery. There is also a record of all the kitsch Indian culture that Britain has acquired along with her colonial migrants, like this bus.

4. The Astounding Blogroll

Route 79 is apparently linked to every Indian blogger in the UK, so when you finally get past the 1000+ posts in this blog, you won’t run out of reading material, and you can just start all over again with your favourites.

The Featured Blog of the Month series will be an ongoing one helmed by the "recently won a digicam in my company D n D" Nal and the link will be placed on the sidebar under the column, Nal: The N Word, your blogroll for all things worth our stamp of KLKuality.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Dhool 4th Quarter Finals


So, that's Vishnu and Vimala for you. One a perpetually "shaded" compere and one doing a radio crossover. What's that mean? That there aren't enough talents in the TV circles that they have to uproot a radio personality? Or just that they think her voice and following is there for the taking? Whatever the case the V1/V2 combo is just that. Just B1 and B2 tumbling down the stairs.

In this episode, V2 sports a hairstyle that I'm sure would have had rave reviews had she being a test subject for America's Next Top Hair-Butcher. Imagine a teddy bear, named "Cuddles", given to your 3 year old niece, with Mattel's brand new in time for Chrissy hairstyling kit. There you have it. An Iban haircut [they literally take a half of a coconut shell and shave around the circumference] meets 2006.

However, apart from the superficial, they do make a good hosting pair. As long as V2 is the one getting whipped. We couldn't bring ourselves to fathom the day when V2 would be the one "jacking" her co-host. That's like the poly nerd losing his virginity before the rest of the batch got around to it, totally unthinkable.

Comedy Skit

This time, we meet an earnest director who has the best flick in the world and his sycophant interviewer. After the hero and villain climbed the ladder taking "risks never taken before", all we were wishing for was a KLKlassic TLC [Table Ladder Chair] match. Perhaps a few pints of blood loss and perhaps a championship belt to aim for.

On an off note, you know all those singular singers who come up to perform? Accompanied by a coupla dancers? This is common and understandable because I for one would not be paying much attention to a solo singer just swinging hips and miming pre recorded tracks if not for them. But this time around, to the melodious song "Oru Naal", there was one male singer, and there was just one other female. Basically she was attempting to break the world record on how many different steps she could muster within a 2 by 2 metre square without uttering a single word. What's this about? God-like adoration for the songster?

Without further ado, lets get to the groups who carried the show:

Generation I

Gen I gave us the retro Super Police song coupled with all the memories it brings along from the days when we still thought that Kollywood stars were sitting on Mt. Olympus. Everybody now, "Anbulla nanban super police.."

There was a very good movement interchanging between the 4 boys and girls. Almost telepathic with what the judges asked for last week as opposed to all 8 members doing the exact same step in sync. Kept our eyes glued to the various pairs and definitely gave every single member the TV recognition they had come up to receive.


When you heard Yogi B, you must have thought, these guys better do justice to the song. And they did just that. Da Hip Hop era hath dawned. Nuff said. Good things come in small packages. Especially packages that have the right amount of spunk, chutz pah and stage presence to carry it off.

Tridiac made you like them from the start with P.Diddy-esque costumes and their opening robo-man sequence. After a solid display of hippity hop, they went on to adorn masks that just added to their ingenuity and mysteriousness.

Sensors 11

Sensors also did put up a solid show. The beat of their song was infectious. Even though, 8 people doing the same step on the same platform would have bored the learned viewer in a while, there was something about Sensors that got us paying attention.

Borders 1:59

Borderz are another of the much favoured entrants in the tourney. And they didn't dissapoint. In fact, Borderz managed to pull off their performance with such foresight with regards to the judges' previous comments that you might have suspected a leak to the scale of the Watergate Scandal.

The theme was military. So, they got themselves army fatigues. [though it really looked like KGB era Russian Colonel's uniforms] Their dance steps incorporated military movements too which was an added plus. Anyone who has gone through BMT and not MC-ed their way out of the Battle Innoculation Course would definitely have spotted the similarity of a few of their steps, especially the backward crawling under barbed wire stint we had to pull off back in Tekong.


Synchronix told us their name was so because they're never out of sync, never miss a beat or a step. But yet, their performance didnt really tally with that.

The opening scene saw the Devil on his throne, a coupla minions and an "Om Shanthi Om" chant. Utter irony. Yet, once the song commenced proper, this same theme wasn't really carried out to full effect or they would have definitely been on par with the other groups who had graced the stage before them.

Footnote: The left front girl either didn't know what she was doing or harbouring a helluva lotta pain and constipation. We suggest 2 aspirins and 8 hours of rest.


Tridiac and Borderz 1:59 were the victors this time around. Like a carbon copy replay of last week's results, the popular ones are through on their own merit again. So, the fickle but very opinionated Yindian public aint THAT wrong with their seasonal likes / dislikes are they?

Perhaps the judge's comments would do much use to the future stages of this competition. They remarked that tonight there were relevant props and good choreography. What they didn't like was the constant PVC based, fluorescent burn-a-hole-in-your-retina colours of the costumes.

Selva thinks that baggy pants is definitely out. So, would you mind letting the major French and Italian designers know that they shouldn't design any for the upcoming Summer '07 Collections?

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Dhool 3rd Quarter Finals

Now, we start our episode recap of course with the initial introduction of the esteemed judges. Credit to Dhool, all 3 do have the credibility and qualifications necessary to make an informed judgment on the aspiring talents.

The Cultural One

Lavanya Balachandran - The one and only 'Naattiya Vishaarath', her talents range onto fusion dances and has a reputation no one can refute. She lends the cultural element to this competition focussing on coordination, steps and fluidity.

The Street Wise One

Sri Devy Viju - You know her through Om Kar, her dance group. A teacher-dancer-performer, she provides the street edge to the competition as she has seen it all in the realm of dance groups, those populating the CC shows, external open-to-all competitions and officiated ones. A boon to the "moulded" style of dance groups these days as she is quite aware where they're coming from and what their roots are.

The Why-Him? One

Ganesan Selvanathan - They [producers/emcee] call him "A Man with Multiple Faces. A Writer, a Director, a Host, a Presenter, an Actor and moreover, an excellent Dancer. Has been acting for 18 years". We think he just shouldn't be here. It seems like Selva is all ready to slide in to the role of being the Yindian Gurmit Singh, multi-roled, multi-platinum, multi-ple personality disorder.

You know who he is when he flashes his signature "L" sign at the cameras when he's introduced. Why L? The sign that signifies the mocking "Loser"? L aint even part of his initials? What is it all about? We suspect a conspiracy theory and with our great luck, it can only get worse. Selva is here to play the metrosexual, "Oh, that's just not rightttttttt" role, cooing over song selections, costume garishness and oozing of attitude. If you ask us, we quote him, "I didn't like it!".

So, we can begin competition highlights proper. It's the 3rd Quarters and 6 groups have already left after their complimentary 15 minutes of google box fame. The other 4 have the privilege of a long rest till we view the semis which are live telecasts, starting on 4th February.

Doverites Unleashed

Doverites [any relation to ITE Dover?] gave us their take on Ailasa Ailasa from "Naam Iruvar Namakku Iruvar". It wasn't a performance that got you on the edge of your seats. More so, they clearly looked like the show openers before the main bombs fell. The sultry Meena of course, back in the days when she used to be a Kollywood sex bomb probably can't be beat in pushing this song to the masses. This was slightly after the days she actually acted alongside people her age and slightly before the days she decided to act with heroes who were as old as her great grandpop.

Brings back to memories the days of New Crown theatre in Ang Mo Kio central [now a pool parlour cum arcade joint], where 2 tickets are bought, the backdoor that conveniently is at the ground floor is slightly pushed open and all 25 of us get to enjoy a movie at the expense of the theatre operators. This continued for quite some years till nosy Yindian, there's-no-such-thing as a free lunch "families" decided to call the cops on us. Needless to say, great times.


Venomouz, or however the name is meant to be spelled, lacked venom. Actually waiting for some veritable performance to arise, what we got to see was the toothless slithering of a few grass snakes across half the expanse of the stage.

Made up of clearly 14-16 year olds [by face, we didn't manage ot get our hands on their application forms] in push ups, sphagettis and "look at me! I'm on tv!" looks, we rue the day they graced our screens. How long did it take them to come up with these magnificently shoddy, "complex" and "acrobatic" sequences? For a moment there, some of us were whisked back to secondary school All Arts Competitions of cheesy steps and zero continuity.

Not to mention, legend has it that this group is ACTUALLY 4 girls and a boy as opposed to popular belief that there were 5 women.


To say that Acidhouz didn't have a good chance to be through all the way to the grand finals would be to commit holy sacrilege for some. They came in to the tourney as one of the established powerhouses in the amateur dance group scene and rarely have they failed to wow.

Costumes, music, fluid movements. The judges were swayed. We were too. Housa House. Not to mention the screaming entourage of groupies that populated the auditorium. Men included. Now why men would be so vocal for other men, is a question best asked to those who literally leapt out of their seats with whistles and shout outs every time the name of the group was even allegedly mentioned.


Zapperz attempted to work the MGR angle on us and succeeded but for only the introduction of the song sequence. After that, the intrigue of what they could do related to the MGR era was quickly diffused to display tried and tested steps and routines. Still, anyone MGR related has a pretty good business opportunity being the mainstay at Naetru Indru Naalai, the only "retro-er than retro" pub hidden in Tekka.


SPX are also traditional powerhouses in the same vein as Acidhouz. You'd only need to attend external dance comps to check out their following and their level of talent. Pink costumes were definitely a welcome change from the usual eye blinding greens and yellows. Maybe, this pleasing on the eye colour combi did subconsciously make us want to like this group from the very start. A classy, slow beat to fast beat performance.

Comedy Skits

An added plus point was the introduction of comedy skits to while away time and to provide another facet of Yindian entertainment. I mean, who else but groupies can sit through 1.5 hours of pure dance and just that. Dhool delivered 2 youthful comedians to us. The writing of their script impressed more than the actual delivery. But does it matter? As long as you feel buzzed with a little laugh at the end of it all, it was a good one.

At times it was more interesting checking out crowd reactions or spotting your long lost teh tarik mate with "Oh, what was that?, his 5th girlfriend since you've known him since last Panguni?" then watching the actual skit. Still, a veritable performance by Guna [of Vasantham drama fame] and Vicky [of Planet Galatta fame]. An unlikely bed-couple it would seem at the start, still they manage to salvage it all with a few chosen expressions and repartees that got people clutching their tummies to stop laughing out loud.


After all that was sung and danced, it was the judges who had to throw the towel in for 3 of the groups. If this episode was offered up for bets at Ladbrokes, I damn well could have increased my balance ten fold. SPX and Acidhouz are through. Any surprises? No. The results are not shocking not in that favoured popular groups should go through, rather, none of the other 3 even came close to knocking them off their perch. So the falcons fly to the semis.

The judges' take on dramatics was very interesting. There was a short tete a tete between the 3 middlemen on the various props used and the drama-esque element the groups lend to their dance routines. Unsuprisingly, Lavanya and Selva were on the "What's the point of props when it doesn't aid the dance? When it doesn't follow the theme of the song?". This is where Sri Devy serves to level the playing field because if any observer of external dance compeitions would have realized, props [some there just for decorative and aesthetic purposes] in recent years have been permanent fixtures on the stage space. In fact, in certain comps, props by itself has a seperate category of points allocated in judging the winner.

Still, their point is pertinent. But of course, what we DON'T want is for groups to dance to "mazhai vazhuthu mazhai vazhutu kudai kondu vaa" in raincoats, wellingtons and oversized brollies. At the end of the day, we Yindians are garish, extroverted in design and flamboyant. Let us be, it'll serve for better entertainment.

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Dhool Auditions Etc.

Now before episode proper, maybe we should delve into the workings of this said tournament of "Happy Feet"-ers. Resource being Dhool's official website. But before that we'd like to extend a hearty "Approm mike" to our readers from India who chance upon the KLKillahs with the most extraordinary search terms. "Sex abuse about actress Ranjitha" and "Secretly caught sexy & naked pictures of actress Namitha" being our favourite referrals.

Credit to Megastar's production team, the website is more frequently updated than any other Yindian media related site. It's easy to know how far the competition has progressed, the victors of the various stages and even which episodes have already been pre-recorded just awaiting their telly launch.

It all kicked off with the auditions held at Woodlands Library on 11th Nov. Pity though that the number of seats available didn't suffice to accomodate the massive crowd wanting a piece of the action. Some, to provide genuine support, others in fact awaiting a mass sighting of Yindian females they otherwise wouldn't have laid eyes on till Thaipusam in February. The KLKillahs of course had first grabs and we went on to see what the feeding frenzy was all about. Apart from the $10,000 top prize, vouchers and temporary fame amongst the indomitable and never extinct dance groupies.

These were some of the footage we manged to salvage off the net for your perusal.




With everything said and done, points computed, suspense lifted, 30 groups emerged as the pathfinders to that 10K cheque. Divided by a maximum of 8, it should garner $1250 for all those dance hours, costume selection and transport too and fro. They were:


Superstition got the better of us and we have still been banking on different permutations of 159 / 11 / 101 / 99 to earn us at least a consolation prize in all 3 4D draws weekly. This obsession with the letters "X" and "Z" are still unfathomable. There is no scientific explanation as of yet as to why Yindians would rather substitute an "S" with a "Z". Anarchy 99 brilliantly misled the masses but not imdb addicts like us who quite recall that Vin Diesel infiltrates Anarchy 99 in the flick "XXX".

The 1st and 2nd Quarters saw the bumping up of M.O.A., Genrix-TP, Nickeash and Kali Dancers to the semis. This means that Agni Reloaded, J-Squad, R.K. Juniors, Saintz 101, and Karna Dancers were on the early bus home. The only 2 vids we found online:

As said earlier, didn't catch them, so no reviews for now. Await the beginning of our coverage in the next post, on the 3rd Quarters.

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Good day all. It is now the 21st of January. Approximately 6 weeks since our en-masse dissapearance. Yes, you would have caught glimpses of us out at town, at the clubs or even at your pasar (malam) depending on your geographical location. The answer is purely simple if you were still pondering as to this sudden but drastic act of fade to black. I just couldn't be bothered.

Our frenzied coverage of the Miss Vasantham saga; the word "saga" is used as opposed to "show" as that's exactly what it looked like; earned us many a click. Some age old vengeance of an aging production team on how best to inflict emotional and visual trauma on its loyal, "too broke to order Vijay TV" patrons.

And during this riotous period, there were many shout outs for us to go "fuck ourselves" [still haven't done that yet], "get a life" [apparently the MDA doesn't allow corpses to blog either, they're in the same category as communists] and to "go get a job if you have too much time" [finally an achievable goal]. So, we got off our nice cushy OSIM armchairs, although with that pelvic massage function, multiple orgasms are once again no more a myth, and got a paying job. That we got paid "peanuts" is not the issue here. We don't expect getting a job to be anything more than chope-ing prime seats at the Long Bar at the Raffles, sipping on our Singapore Slings and drumming Surangani when we are in the mood to. Getting paid for that is quite rewarding, peanuts or not.Thanks for the suggestion.

On a tangent, have you got Vijay TV yet? When you do, be prepared to be refreshed by solid programming, non-boring mega serials and a slew of other varied and interesting programs like Hutch's Kalakka Povathu Champions 2. This is a prime example of how comedy should be attempted in Tamil. Notwithstanding the tried and tested mimicry of MGR / Sivaji Ganesan / Rajini / Vijaykanth, the comedians featured come up with KLKomedic concepts to blow your mind week in week out.

I tend to get distracted when heaving praise on something. Forgive me. I tend to be a more focussed raving lunatic under the influence of a crate of Changs [though Singha seems a tad more economical].

So, I'm back. I don't know about the rest. From what I know one is an aspiring Naatiya Mayuri 2007, another has shifted houses soo many times he got his PR status revoked, one's in the midst of a hair lice discussion and yet another flew off to combat the forest fires in Antarctica. Tundras are forests too. In a way.

Perhaps the greatest factor that made me swing back into actually opening my browser had to be the utter lack of pertinent information in the Singaporean blogosphere. I found it a tad perturbing that while many had millions of opinions to voice regarding Sun TV mega serials and the just ended Jodi Number 1 season, no one really gave much thought about enlightening non viewers on the happenings on local channels.

Granted most of us watch Adimai and remark "So ... you mean to tell me ... that girl chased up some heroin ... cos ... that's the only way she could get to see her dead father? ". You'd also tune in religiously to the Saturday night movie on the off chance no one decides to ask you out since the last time they did so, they ended up with three quarters of your dinner flooding their Doc Martens after just your 3rd tequila shot. And there's the new reality, come show me what you got, mega prized competition called Dhool.

There's been soo much talk about this and even we had a slight itch to post up inside-sourced info from time to time since the inception of said TV event. But, if you were a zero-time viewer, just by trawling the internet you would have close to no idea what the 1 1/2 hour programme was actually about. You might walk away thinking it was some kinda fashion show or worse still just a platform for the audience to see how long they can milk the various cameramans' attention. Some of the fine examples I managed to dredge up :

Guess the Dhool 2006/7 is coming on well, i think finally we hve some good judges who are suitable for da show... which is a dance show... N their judgement has been sensible ..Critical to some... but den again champions arent those who respond to sheer praises but those who respond n react to their harshest critics... Its something i personally hve learnt during da course of time ... One thing dat really irritates the shit outta me .. is when some punk shouts at the top of his/her voice n gives everyone a heartattack... I noe its all in da name of supporting ur fav group wadsoever.. For stupid small reason ..u hear an irritating loud shrill ..Even when one of the group members raise his/her leg ... someone shouts... n if theres someone in da group whos hot as a group of pple would refer to.. u can imagine ... So pls shut the fuck up n support ur fav groups in a more civilised manner ... One thing i would like to say is dat whether those performing hve been good or bad.. u got to respect them for the effort they hve put in n hving the guts to perfom in front of so many pple .. Cheers..

It was a rather packed day for me. Went to the temple early in the morning with the whole family, then went over to Aunt Saroja's house and then off to Dhool 2006 last 2 Qtrs. It was fantabulous!!! Stepz was superbly WOW and so was NUS. They were rather unique. It is NUS! Waddaya expect right?

Diversity was good too! They were so sexy. They are the true epitome of girl power! woo hoo! For the 2nd half of the quarters we were actually supporting Xtrinesha, Kamini's brother Shawn. They did pretty well and the song was damn nice. It was not fair for groups who have dance on television before as they already have fame, and also, it would not be fair to the other. The judges might tend to be biased towards the teams who have already appeared on tv. cos if they dont get chosen, it might be an embarrassing thing for them right?? Oh well, when has life ever been fair. But i really dont think anarchy 99 deserved it. Not because im being biased towards xtrinesha. I felt like moving along with them when i watched their dance whereas for anarchy 99, it was kinda boring for me.

Also went for Dhool... kind of hid my face when the camera took my direction!!! haha... we were all pink... supporting SPX... THE BEST IS ALWAYS THE BEST; AND SPX IS THE BEST... they ARE the best and Definetly WILL be the WINNER... They are second to none... well then comes the rest...

Watched Dhool 2! YEAH! MOA got in the semi-finals round! Sadly, Agni-Reloaded was not in... The guys in the dance group, are cute and quite good-looking! sigh! TP generix got in! Congrats to Sara... Saw you dancing!

Bored yet? The first Dhool draft that was supposed to get published is still sleeping in the drafts, it was penned on 27th November 2006. Since then 5 quarterfinals have come and gone. I believe we'll be watching the last one later tonight to set the stage for the semis.

Without further ado, I'll give you my take on the past 3 quarters that I actually watched. It may be ancient history but compared to anything quoted further up this post, I think my picture is clearer. HD capable.

KLKillahs have also embarked on a "No Gloom - Buy Blooms" intiative. Click on below graphic to send you on your way to your first date since you turned 26. We can't help you get laid on Valentine's but what we CAN do is help you tell her you've been wanting to since the day you switched to "Anonymous" and bookmarked her Friendster profile. But seriously, FREE delivery, DIRT CHEAP pricing and KLKuality chop-seal-guaranteed.

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Hypocrisy of Age

Someone obviously found the Fountain of Youth up in the Himalayas. Observe, some computer generated simulations of time and age on your superstars.





Disclaimer: I is Rajini fan.

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