Miss Vasantham - 4th Elimination

So, it's like the 4th elimination already? 8 girls down. 16 more to go. Show 6 of 12. Imagine, a pageant running for 12 episodes. If it was marketed as a reality show complete with behind the scenes camera action, bitching and cat fighting, it would have made a bigger dent in AC Nielsen's ratings.

Today, it's just going to be a review of the episode. S02E06 for the Bit Torrenters in us. Season 2 Episode 6 for those who need things spelled out a lil more clearly. I have a huge post penned for the producers of aforementioned pageant, but it will have to be anticipated for another day.

Pre-show starters, the host got around to some questions for the judges to open the show:

To Rafi: What do you think about the chicks who reply in English when you talk in Tamil?
To Maran: Whats with your questions?
To Najip: What did you mean by asking some chicks to walk "tall"?
To Sunita: How important is the catwalk segment?

De ja vu? If you, like me sensed something was afoot then you're probably right. If you didn't go back to our previous Miss V post, HERE. Here's what we had to say:

I don't know bout you blokes but I personally find it very rude when ppl talk to u in Tamil and you don't respond in it. Understood, you might be one of those who understand Tamil but are not fluent in it. Yet, let us know you wanna answer the rest of your questions in English (your native tongue I presume) and not just spew English for Tamil. Looks like a bad case of "Lost in Translation"

Torturous, these aimless questions of his. Thank god she survived. It would be a pity going out on virtue of some judge's ego issues.... Even with 2 judges attempting to trip her up over a seemingly honest answer

Najip said "Feel tall." Why is this fella soo much about pheelings today? Could someone get Rafi to feel ugly? No right... Why is Najip obsessed with height?

So, are the hosts, judges, assistant producers, producer, camera crew, makeup artists and janitor all reading us and responding in kind? If that is the truth, then kudos. But, there are tons of other things I might need clarification on. Howzabout, all of you just add me on MSN and we can thrash it out, together with a full feature interview and a contract to run your next pageant

Trivia: Maran was seen in his Scouser kit in the opening sequences and then it vanishes after the first ad break to become a long sleeved white shirt. [I have 2 theories, it's gotta be either the exuberant Liverpool fans shouting "Liverpool, Liverpool" everytime he opened his mouth, or he had turned up late but wore his kit there so he could get to the post-show match]

Catwalk

So, Sunitha told us all that the catwalk is a major determinant for progression to the next rounds. Yes, like watching people walk, over and over and over again is gonna really make them improve their flair for the runway. Yet again, I ask. What is it that you're looking for? A model? An actress? A brainiac? A pretty bimbo? What? Make up your mind. Seems like a search for Who-can-get compliments from Sunitha / make Najip think you're tall / answer Maran's teasers / flirt with Rafi AND also pull off some modelling and acting amidst it all.

Rafi was still true to his KLK roots with shades in an indoor setting again. Dude! Is it you are nursing cataracts? Are the stage lights blinding you? What? What? You're almost tied with our dear Asoka KLKs whose Bluetooth lights flash brighter than the lights reflected off that old geezer's bald pate.

Anita - This girl has lost some weight since the start of the competition. The cheeks are less chubbier and her features are beginning to stand out a bit more. Alas, nervous nervous nervous. Kinda spoils your stage presence does it not? That nervousness. This is what, your 4th time on stage?

Yuvaneshwari - I had nothing to say pro or con. she would have fitted in with one of the Bollywood dance backup crew with that costume though. It makes me wonder sometimes who gets to choose the jewellery/costume ensemble. The girls, or the producers?

Jayanthi - Massive crowd support which helped tons on her overall bearing. Exuded confidence at all times. And that height, only on hindsight did I realize she just towers over the rest of them. All the placards and banners, whether voluntary or set up just made me think: This is a good player. She plays to win. Looks like a game after all, with immunity tags [If you're gonna copy Survivor, at least change the name?] and talent rounds.

Devi Priya - This is a girl who is always with the "I know something u dont know..but i aint gonna tell u" look. She can't stop smiling this girl, a very good thing. Trivia: Anyone caught that sly wink at the camera before she turned for her final strut? Cheeky cheeky.

Natasha - Slack posture. She might as well be walking to the pasar to buy some fish. Catwalk baby not walk around town in your shoddy flip flops.

Nishalani - This one has grown on me. But she languishes in mediocrity. Neither over the top nor under the radar. Just bobbing along where the current takes her. Happy to live for another 1.5 hours on the telly.

Revathi - Did you catch the left-right hip action? That's the kinda walk that makes the boys shout "left right! left right!" when sitting at the Tekka market bus stop on Friday evenings. Cat-calling is also applicable at other major public busstops, bus interchanges and shopping mall foyers.

Sonia - I have no idea why people think she's all that. I seriously don't see anything special, unless of course people root for cos she's the only Northie left in this whole fracas. Oh well, different souls different eyes. She has this "I'm trying man....get me in" look, coupled with a doe eyed smile. Works for some, just not me.

Sasikala - In a way she and Prasanna look like twins. It was a good combo of jewellery and costumes and the walk though.

Kalaivani - She owned the stage (pwned in some circles). We have bestowed the title KLKonfidence Kalaivani on her. She worked the crowd, and well.

Shamen got all worked up over Silambam just before one of the dance performances. What was the need to work that into your script? Political agenda? Telling some prick you saw at Asoka that he shouldn't profess to be a Silambam master? What was the point? I'm KLKonfused as usual. Starting from last week's "Shamen out!", I've been this way.

The Q n As

Anita - Najip was right to point out the lack of confidence. If you had set Indra on this question she got, she'd have gone wild ass on it and impressed. I mean seriously, you've just about alienated the rest of your female fans by saying you'd let your husband go off with his illegitimate family? Yeah right, give in! The chicks I know would cut off his balls and hang it out on the porch to dry as a warning.

Yuvaneshwari - Good answer following her initial trip up that terrorism was "popular". Still, educating the children aint gonna do much good if Osama's educating his ones simultaneously aint it?

Jayanthi - She's the prime example to show that good answers never please anybody. they wanna jus push and push till you say something dumb. And she didn't. Kudos. You is has our praise.

Devi Priya - "Nice, fresh and crisp" said Sunitha. The moment those 3 words were uttered, I didn't think beauty queen. My mind kinda traversed half way round the nation and stood at Geyland Lorong 12 admiring the new China imports. Nice! Fresh! Crisp! What a slinky black dress though. Is there no dress code for this round, I'm wondering. Why is it that some come onto stage going for a charity gala dinner and the others look like they're due at Amaran in the next half hour. And how come some chicks can come, say "critically analyze" and leave, while some others have to endure painful moments clutching the mike?

Natasha - See! See! See! I'm right. She just doesn't seem to give a fuck and the judges know it too. Leave babe, leave outa ur own accord, you can at least save some face then. Just say, you are needed to protest at the IMF at Suntec and go AWOL on the show. For the good of the nation.

Nishalani - How squeaky can a voice be? Mute the mike! The ultimate "act cute" girl! "Just keep trying harder...I like your boots" the judges claimed. These are the times I wished I was in the hotseat. I'd have tore this one to shreds with her "squeaky clean" answers. Between this voice and that of the footy commentator, you sure as hell know which one I'm for.

Revathi - She got a textbook question that is just too overdone anywhere in Indian TV. Anyone who fucks it up oughta be shot.

Sonia - I feel she knows she's not gonna win this thing and is quickly covering her bases by sucking up to the choreographer? Still a touch of wit there that was appreciated by me. The "next round maybe?" line.

Sasikala - Love the white dress. However a classic case of when you speak, say 2 lines and stop and smile. Like how many of these girls have passed through the stages. But no, she came up with "seducing him with my eyes". Yeah? Show us please. Who's ur Guru? Captain Vijaykanth? Another one of the Physics-is-for-losers school. A true Indian trait of talking more than necessary, unfortunately, she paid hard for this error.

Kalaivani - I'm looking at this girl in a new light today. Possibly because of external comments on her that I never shared in the past weeks. She is sporting. A lesser girl would have gone all coy and shy but she pulled off some stylo-mylo pose that really pulled on the "I wouldn't wanna see this girl get knocked out soo fast" strings.

Talent Round

Why is it that the round most people anticipate is always cut into just a ten minute slot. That's ten girls, attempting to show off the talent required of the week, and you push it all into 10 seconds a girl clips? Where's the fun in that? Why introduce an Immunity Tag if we don't even get to see what they did to earn it? Definitely, what they should do, is stop this catwalk crap and capitalize on the talent rounds. Show everything, bloopers and all. Why would we wanna see the same old walking albeit in different clothes every week. They gonna come down, turn around, go left, turn again, go up the stairs. Anything new? [Well, the ones who forget their steps make it evergreen-new]

This week, the girls were supposed to prepare a presentation, written and verbal to convince 2 of the sponsors to provide sponsorship for a fictitious event they want to organize. Sounds simple? Yes, if you had a week and did it as a group project. These ladies got just 1 day to pull it off. Is it a wonder then that the one who won, studies in SIM, an institution for business and management?

Does anyone else also share my view that the Magical Holidays lady, Gayathri, looked more of a beauty queen than any of the women she was interviewing? Also, what was with the Raj guy from Homeway Designs? Got pretty harsh on the 1-day presenters. "Facts and figures" he wanted? Nice. I wish I was interviewed by the bloke. I'd have factorized my way through his "figure". Again, we never got to see the full brunt of how the interviewers were on the interviewees, and who really sucked and who didn't, cos of course this is a "masterpiece" production from dear Vasantham Central where the less you see, the safer you are.

My final deduction: Raj should be a judge of the pageant. He looks Simon Cowell-y enough. And Gayathri should just be declared the winner of the pageant. MMMMMMMMWah!

The Results

It was no anomaly, the results. Natasha was expected like a helluva long time back. Off with you slacker girl! We'll see you at Gotham eh?

Sasi Kala though, without her really super jump-off-the-end-of-the-world, "i seduce men with my eyes" line could have had a more fighting chance to stay in. But, you're on national TV sweethear. Such embarassments will never be forgiven, even if you got through. My view? The earlier the better. Not when you started the journey with something like this:

Q: How do you cope with wolf-whistles on the streets?
A: I think if you listen to more of those wolf-whistles, they tend to become howling and so frankly speaking, I'll ignore them. I believe that human beings can verbally communicate rather than wolf-whistles.

Get my drift?
[Music fading out: Wonder if you know, how they live in Ang Mo Kio, if you see it, then you mean it, and you know you have to go.........drift drift drift!]




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