Thursday, September 21, 2006

KLKribs - Yishun

Hey, I'm Esh and I'm on a mission to bring to attention the hometowns of the KLK population, where resides a proliferation of the typical Yindians. Aptly named KLKribs, let's begin with our first destination.

Set foot upon the blessed soil of Yishun, turn in any direction and it won't be hard to miss a KLK walking in his gangster fashion, it makes me think he's probably trying to air his armpits from the perspiration this heat is causing.

To all my ladies in the house, if for some reason, you're making the decision to step into this famed nation of KLKs, a word of caution to you. For if you are a female specimen, walking the streets of Yishun, you may be attracting the attention of these KLK mofos. Walk down the stretch of the bus interchange, when you don't see one of these typical Yindians, that's when it's strange. Take special notice of the 855 stop, you'll see them on the railings-that's their hot spot. Make a pass through that path and you can see them doing their thing, clad in their fake blings and things, at you they'd be whistling.

Having to walk that way almost every other day, let me share with you what i usually do. The moment i see them and before they notice me, it becomes my natural reaction to whip out my handphone and pretend to be engaged in a deep conversation. Try as they may to attract your attention, its easier to get past when you are blatantly ignorant. Just remember: put your handphone on silent, to save you from an embarassment should your phone ring in the midst of your pretension.

To all the guys, you might wanna get something to cover your eyes for two reasons. For one, if you even decide to look their way, these KLKs will assume you're staring so they'll give you a little glaring and if you don't avert your glance fast enough, count on a confrontation that could cause a commotion. Another reason being with the KLK girls that you are seeing, you need to be protecting your eyesight from the eyesore that they are giving. Clad in their red/black ensemble with their leopard print pouches and accessories, it makes you wonder if they had lost their combs with their hair let down all long and frizzy.

Be warned, if you look at these KLK chicks for long, they'll whip out their handphones (with red and black casing) and give their makkal boyfriends a ring to report that you are staring. For once, these KLKs break the rule of the Tamilan timing and within minutes you'd be able to see them walking, their arms swinging, you see them approaching you and you know trouble's brewing.

So hoping to get away as fast as you can, you head in the direction of Yishun GV where you'd see the KLKs queueing to catch the latest movie. They'll come early to buy the tix, then head to BK or LJ to lepak and look out for chicks. Even if they get there an hour before the movie, they'll make it a point to saunter into the theatre very much later than everyone else. And if you asked them, "Enna aachi?" They'll proudly proclaim "Tamilan timing la machi!" The movie begins and you hope to watch it in peace but these KLK mofos will never let you do so. Whistling during song scenes, jeering at snide remarks and laughing out too loud when the comedy isn't even funny. During your three hours in the theatre, you wonder whether to watch the movie in front of you or to complain about the KLKoothu that happens in the row behind you.

After the movie, the different groups will disperse about the neighbourhood heading to nearby void-decks and coffeeshops for what I'd like to call their makkal meetings. It is only at these makkal meetings that you can see KLKs drinking way before evening comes around. Amidst the bottles on the table with the Tiger beer label you'd see only one pack of cigarettes. There'd be ten of them there but at any one time they'll only have one cigarette to share. These KLKs will pollute the air without a care but conserve their ciggies because they are KLKancha Pisunaris.

Wanting to avoid the possibility of coming across a fault-finding KLK at the interchange you decide to take the train. You thought you'll be spared but think again, especially if you are heading towards the famed last cabin because that's where the KLKs board the train. You thought you could escape them mofos but think again, they could be following you through to your destination.

Editor: I is liking. And at certain portions, she actually rhymes :) Welcome Esh.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

yeah , i agree with u .. i been livng in yishun all my life and have seen this kinda losers.. esp 855!!!!

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