KLK Profile #4

It's been a long time since we delved into Frenster profiling. People come up with the weirdest stuff these days, from questionnaires to yes/no quizzes to plain grovelling at the ladies' feet. But nothing prepared Esh for this onslaught [Editor's remarks in italics]:

I logged into Friendster today to discover that i have a new friends request. So the unsuspecting me clicks on the request to see who it was. And the unsuspecting me was thoroughly appalled by what i saw. Shock. Awe. Horror.

At this point, unable to accept what I saw, I ran across my living room filled with so much of emotions. I fell to the floor, and start sobbing uncontrollably. No one could stop me. I couldn't believe what I saw. [De ja vu. Did the same when we heard Saddam was gonna be hanged]

I had to tell someone about it. I couldn't contain it anymore. So I called the first person I thought who could help me regain some of my senses - Praba, and there I was recounting the drama to him amidst a fresh flow of tears. It was awful. Praba was already half way through his front door to do some serious damage to the person who was the cause of my tears. [Who? Praba? The bloke who didn't know how he got back after 2 pints of Hoegaarden and a half pint of San Miguel?]

After some advice from Praba I got to my senses and my KLKillah instinct got the better of me. Time to do some KLKulling baby! [Finally we get to the story, knn, so much build up]

Here's presenting Jurong Sarakuz. So apparently this one person, is a representative of all Jurong Sarakuz. And this person tried to add me. wtf? The display picture screams Jurong West and her hometown is Endrendrum Jurong!! Alright la machi!

I began dissecting the profile. There were no photos of people, but the captions to some of the pics made me wonder.

"Our Roko" - Oh you all endorsing Marlboro is it? Are ya'll doing it like how the old time beer ads do it, with skanky babes? [I believe the word is rokok with a k]

"Kudikariz" - So that was why you created this account...you were drunk right? [Never attempt anything dangerous like the world wide web under the influence]

"Your still ugly to us boys.." - [Gender stereotypes are so fashionable these days.]

Occupation:
Being a saraku in jurong.. [Do you get CPF with that?]

Hobbies and Interests:
slacking..make our place(jurong) to a better place..
[Heal the world. Make it a better place. Plus the last guy who sang that is on child molestation charges now]

Favorite Books:
is ther any books for us???
(yeah. makes me wonder too)

About Me:
Okiii...thiz profile is made up for jurong sarakuz..the intension is to make all the jurong gerls to get united and bring up jurong as a best place!! let us show all that jurong gerls are the best..any other gerls frm different loaction who wanna get united with us..your always welcome!! gerlz rulezz!! simply this profile is onlie for GERLS!!!! even if your ugly or pretti,fat or thin,jus add me!! coz no matter what gerls..we are babes!!!

Who I Want to Meet:
Jurong sarakuz..and whoever gerls wanna get united wid us..it wuld be nice if no guys are in this profile thanks..

Sorry la babes..I stay in Jalan Jurong Kechil. I know there's a Jurong in the name and all but that's still like miles away from Jurong West. Oh by the way, good luck on your mission to "bring up jurong as a best place!" When that happens, do inform us at KLK so that we can be proud of youse we could even help you recruit some NTU chicas so you can start a political party and vote for them.

I caught sight of the first testimonial and a fresh flow of tears unleashed from my eyes.

"Bila bila Jurong Sarakuz la
Wen fight comes we are
one for all all for one la"

Power to the giduga la machi!

Unbelievable. See how much trauma one profile can cause me! Poor me.

By the ways, i rejected the request. Not cos i thought they were an embarrassment whatsoever. I mean c'mon man, we all know about brotherhoods, so kudos to the babe who wants to promote some loving sisterhood here. In a world where everything is falling apart, we need chicks like these to unite and spread some lurrve, no? Why then didn't i accept them?

What can I say, guess I didn't fit their profile.

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