Cultures - Fact and Fiction Q&A (Part 2)

Hello all, I'm very happy with all of you who asked all sorts of responsible questions. It can be hard when you have to write about something that can be a sensitive topic in so many ways.

There were tons of questions on the board & I apologize if I don't reply to every single one of them, so keep asking and eventually they'd be answered. But as I said, i'm only going to answer 5 questions at each sesh, so voila. Read.

xoxo, Aresha

Q1. Dear Aresha, why do so many ppl hv e misconception that N.Indians are better looking than S.Indians, when we all know tt it ain't true?(Aishwarya Rai is South Indian!) - Confused

Dear Confused,

The magic phrase is "fair and lovely". You'd realise that people usually see North Indians as fair. Did you know that the number 1 selling products in India are whitening products? It's sad I know, but some people in the world have pinned this post-colonialist stereotype that fair = pretty.

I personally hate it when people come up to me and ask what kind of indian I am. Because it really doesn't matter what colour you are.

So yes, be proud of your skin colour, everyone's pretty to someone somewhere. I've seen some really pretty North Indians and some really hideous North Indians - likewise for South Indians. And South Indians have nice noses.

And yes, Aishwarya Rai was born in South India. Good point to make to those that think that all pretty Bollywood stars are north indians and not all the south indian ones are fat like Ramba.

Q2. Why do Chinese and Malays make fun of indians as apu neh neh. Wtf does that mean? - LadyLove

Ladylove, Hahaha. I feel you on this one. It's the same logic with the term "Keling", it's a derogatory slur that's so overtly used that many people think that that's the proper way to refer to an Indian. In my opinion, it's probably lack of awareness on the severity of the term.

Apu Neh Neh probably came about because whoever came up with that thought that the tamil language sounded like repeated ramblings of 'apunehneh'. It's the same as how some people refer to the Chinese being 'Ching Chong'.

I personally feel that there's absolutely no use in using any of it to refer to anybody. And I make it known to many that I HATE being called Apu, but it's tough when people still think its ok and in good jest to libel a friend that way. It's not. So just tell them to not call you that and be firm about it.

Q3. I have read that North Indians were actually nomads from the Middle East who came via the ganges plain and drove South Indians to the South and started living in the North? Is that true? - Nathan

To cut the long story short, it's the Aryans & Dravidians story we learnt in secondary school, where the Aryans were the lighter skinned and the Dravidians were those of dark skin. This is due to the Central-Asian invaders hundreds of years ago such as Greeks, Huns, turks and indo-gangetics.

The Aryans and Dravidians were all barbaric nomads back in the day that spoke different languages. In fact, the Dravidians were also living in early India but were forced to be mainstream or stfu by the Aryans. The Aryans were actually said to be Persians. So when you mix a hot persian-aryan lady with a Manly Central Asian invader, you get Shah Rukh Khan. Derivitive Dravidian languages are spoken by Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Sri Lankans and Nepalese.

So there.

Q4. I still see the m.c hammer-bhangra fusion moves on vasantham variety shows. so 90's!! u sumtimes see it in clubs too. are those dance moves are an innate indian quality or a nurtured one? - Guerrrilla

It's nurtured. For sure. It's not everyone's dying wish to be on Vasantham central at least once doing a lip-sync'ed breakdance. It's just that they show a large percentage of these dancable-klks on the telly, so people all think that once we hear a bangin' choon it will set us all off like a bunch of synchronized dolphins at seaworld.

Most of us don't do the distasteful pelvic-thrusty dances. They do a slightly more tasteful version called the 'chicago'. I'd like someone to tell me where the hell the term 'Chicago' came from because I most definitely don't see Lock Up touring America, much less Chicago. And the people in Chicago don't dance like that. And they're definitely not doing that in Chicago the musical. So yes.

Q5. Why is their hair short at the front but long at the back? Reminds me of horse. Yucks. - TheSariPartyGirl

MULLETS! They're called mullets. And they're not just Indian, they're a GLOBAL phenomenon. Sometimes, you have to remind these blokes that mullets are passe. So's cheaply-bleached/dyed hair. It's really not cool. It's so 1970's David Bowie.

The history and theory behind the mullet is that back in the day, it was a fashion statement for "business in the front, party at the back". I don't know why the hell some guys (not just indian) sport mullets. It's so 70's rock. and 1970 was a good 36 years ago.

The beastie boys actually wrote a song about how disgusting the mullet hair cut is. The song is called 'Mullet Head'.

Some bogan outback roo-burger eating Aussies still sport the mullet. They probably don't have much friends. HAHA!

HAVE A QUESTION?
send your own gripes, stereotypes, stories and misconceptions to hello@areshaonline.com or post a question in the comments form below with your strange question about anything and I will save the day with some form of explanation.

If you're wondering where the online form went missing to, well, unfortunately, ye should never rely on a free-to-use site totally. In our case, tag-board.com just got hacked. But keep the questions coming, we're in a preachy and teachy mood.