KLKalyanam

In order to maintain the one of the largest populations in the world, marriage is a must in India. Single parenthood is unheard of and abortion can only take place with your in-laws permission and if the baby is a girl. Again, to have in-laws, you must be married.

But, in land where dating is still taboo, mixed group outings are rarely seen, and arranged marriages are the order of the day, meeting the right man or woman is very difficult. Unless you are a Bad Indian Girl, then of course, you can do whatever the hell you want.

A few smart fellows who have realized this have made millions setting up internet portals where single men and women can view without prejudice, select without embarrassment, correspond in confidentiality and finally make the decision to take the plunge – and ask the parents for permission to meet.

Careful research into these portals has revealed a few typical scenarios. Or types of people, rather. If anyone out there has taken out an ad with one of those portals, and recognize yourselves here, we just want to say thanks for the opportunity to laugh at ourselves.

The Mama’s boy/ girl

You probably have no idea you even have a profile up on the matrimonial portal, cos your parents put it there for you. They describe you as God’s gift to humanity, and that the person who are looking for should be God’s gift to them.

My only daughter is a very sober natured girl. Her father has expired 4 yrs back. He was Sikh Punjabi by religion. I am Bengali. She has been brought up in bengali culture.
She is a post graduate in Business Managemnet and working with a Finance organization of Repute in Delhi in a senior position.
We have our own house.
We are looking for a sober, simple natured and understanding boy for her.

With an “expired” father, and her own real estate, she sounds like quite a catch.

And to be fair, here is a couple selling their son:-

my son is a marine engineer working in foreign flag ship as 2nd eng. he will be in ship for 3/4 months and home as he wish. bride to be graduate and emp/ un empl.to understand my sons profession.

Comes home as he wishes? Sounds like the folks are looking for a companion for themselves more than for their son.

The past 40s

These people act like they don’t need this and don’t even know why they are here. But sometimes, one is hard pressed to keep the desperation out of your tone.

Getting down to the basic package. I am good looking, slim, intelligent with great sense of humour, independent and a fairly down to earth person. Fed up with being on my own as it would be good to have a likeminded companion with some energy for living! Tired of meeting men who don't live up to their profiles! are there any good looking, independent, young at heart and in looks forty something asian men out there looking for friendship which hopefully leads to a serious.

Ok, basic message – I have done this a lot, I have always been dumped, there something inherently wrong with me. If you are breathing, I’ll work with you.

The over promising NRI

He also does not believe in sentence structure or full stops. By the way, he makes less than 25,00 a year.

My name is XXXX I want to get married, I am 5ft6inch tall with an average built my mom is from India and dad is from an Urdu speaking family of Dacca, we live in Canada and are Canadian citizen… I am looking for a Urdu speaking wife most preferably from Karachi, Pakistan/u.p,bihar, hydrabad,Calcutta India or Pakistani/Indian settled in Canada is also welcome about my background ,moms from a Muslim family of Calcutta & dad's from an Urdu speaking family of former east Pakistan. . Thanks though please note that I personally do not give any important to all this family background, caste, status at all but for yours convenient I gave my family background details but for me my wife's, family background DOES NOT MATTER at all as I am not this type of a person for me I am a Muslim and a Canadian sure I have my like,s and dislike,s but the most important part is that I have to like the person I want to get married to and that's just enough for me I am quiet a western and open minded person in nature. After all ISLAM is my deen and Canada is my country and I love them both

Looking for: very fair or at least fair, average built , Pakistani /Indian or origin's of Pakistani/Indian settled in Canada should be Muslim and Urdu speaking
thanks

The maid employer.

she must be beautiful ,smart, fair ,educated and compassion,caring,understanding and loving.she should understand my profession and accordingly support me morally.i want her support and love.she should respect my parents and care them like her parents.i want my wife to be self sustained if she is ambitious.she can continue her higher studies or her profession.

Basically I want a maid who can pay her own way.

The Pedigree Conscious

A very simple garhwali brahman girl. Working in TCS. she is MCA from bhopal. Father is Asst. Work manager in Security Paper Mill govt of india. One elder brother (married ) lecturer in GNB Uttranchal universcity.

My Job: Working in TCS as Asst Syystem Engineer joined in May 2005. Can be transfered to Delhi, or other metro city . Looking for: Simple with High living values. Confident, responsible. And respect my family belong to garhwali brahmim

About Career: Plan to work after marriage.

My Family: Father Working as Asst works Manager in Security Paper Mill (M.P).
class I officer. Mother House wife(Nauitiyal)
One Elder Brother (married). Lecturer in Dept ofPharmacy HNB garhwal .universty uttrancal

Barking up the wrong tree

He is tall, athlectic, not interested in girls, owns a gym in his basement and likes to be fit? He is gay. Don’t waste your time here.

My son is 5.11 athletic built and an introvert homely kind of guy who likes exercising playing outdoor games and a complete family person besides in transportation business he runs his own health club which he is operating from the basement of our house we are a Punjabi family from lahore background.

My Job: he is operating from the basement of our house from where he is running his health club also. we are he authorised supplier of barley malt from barmalt ind pvt ltd two factorie in sikkim and a factory in orissa

Looking for: a homely girl who should have values


And there you have it, the guide to finding the right match on an Indian matrimonial portal. We can only help you identify the losers. The rest is up to you. Wait up for our bomb blast follow up post on KLKalyanam II.

indian, india, marriage, matrimonial, matchmaking
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