As the representative of all Mangammas and Sornakkas, I take very seriously the welfare of our female KLKs. Indeed, I think its time I share some priceless information with my sisters around the continent.
1.Thou Shalt Knowest Not Thine Status
The best way to go about it to never completely disclose the status of your relationship. I mean why stop at one when you can have aplenty? There was a reason the “Its complicated” button was created in Friendster. I mean it doesn’t really matter if your musang of a boyfriend and you have been together for three and a half years. As long as there are still people who are interested in you, you’re still single. Until at least you get spotted making out on the dance floor at Explosion Nite.
2.Thou Shalt Be The Biggest Two Faced Swine
See it doesn’t matter if you never had an issue with his smoking habits. But once his friends are all around at the chalet, that’s when you kick up a huge fuss and start whining about how he NEVER and you mean NEVER listens to you. It doesn’t matter if you knew he’s been smoking for the last 232353 years. It just matters that right NOW, you think he shouldn’t be smoking. Call it marking your territory. Call it showing the rest whose boss. I call it KLKialism.
3.Holden ye property as tightly as ye may.
The most important criteria to make a true blue KLK girlfriend lies in your ability to grip. Yes, the longer your blood red nails, the better. Its only fair that everytime some other unsuspecting girl walks around you dig your nails under your boyfriend’s forearm. I mean he is yours and what on earth possessed that $#^$#$#@$#@%#%#%# (insert as many profanities) of a woman to walk past him. See, freedom of passage works only until you decide to strut past anyone vaguely Indian.
4.Thou Shalt Wear the Pants over your Panties for eternity
Is it just me or do we all suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder? An article from Essortment.com states the following as signs of control-craving disorders. Tell me if I am the only one who finds this eerily familiar. "Common ideas include persistent fears that harm may come to self or a loved one, an unreasonable concern with becoming contaminated, or an excessive need to do things correctly or perfectly. These thoughts tend to be intrusive, unpleasant, and produce a high degree of anxiety. Sometimes the obsessions are of a violent or a sexual nature, or concern illness." Nuff said. There is a Chandramukhi in every one of us. Lakalakalaka to that.
5.Learnest not Closure. Seekest always patchbacks
Now if you’re a true blue KLK gf, you would have learnt one thing in all your years of blue contact lens wearing, cheap hair rebonding days. That relationships are never meant to be closed! If you so much so as decide to date a guy, you are pretty much stuck with falling back to his trap no matter how many girlfriends he has cheated on you with. It doesn’t matter if he’s kicked you or even missed murdering you by a split second because its LOVE. And no really, we KLKwomen love feeling like victims of abuse and like second class citizens. Why? A case of kallanaalum kanavan pullanaalum purushan maybe?
[Editor: *Applause* Now you know why I call you Tekka Thayamma]
1.Thou Shalt Knowest Not Thine Status
The best way to go about it to never completely disclose the status of your relationship. I mean why stop at one when you can have aplenty? There was a reason the “Its complicated” button was created in Friendster. I mean it doesn’t really matter if your musang of a boyfriend and you have been together for three and a half years. As long as there are still people who are interested in you, you’re still single. Until at least you get spotted making out on the dance floor at Explosion Nite.
2.Thou Shalt Be The Biggest Two Faced Swine
See it doesn’t matter if you never had an issue with his smoking habits. But once his friends are all around at the chalet, that’s when you kick up a huge fuss and start whining about how he NEVER and you mean NEVER listens to you. It doesn’t matter if you knew he’s been smoking for the last 232353 years. It just matters that right NOW, you think he shouldn’t be smoking. Call it marking your territory. Call it showing the rest whose boss. I call it KLKialism.
3.Holden ye property as tightly as ye may.
The most important criteria to make a true blue KLK girlfriend lies in your ability to grip. Yes, the longer your blood red nails, the better. Its only fair that everytime some other unsuspecting girl walks around you dig your nails under your boyfriend’s forearm. I mean he is yours and what on earth possessed that $#^$#$#@$#@%#%#%# (insert as many profanities) of a woman to walk past him. See, freedom of passage works only until you decide to strut past anyone vaguely Indian.
4.Thou Shalt Wear the Pants over your Panties for eternity
Is it just me or do we all suffer from an obsessive compulsive disorder? An article from Essortment.com states the following as signs of control-craving disorders. Tell me if I am the only one who finds this eerily familiar. "Common ideas include persistent fears that harm may come to self or a loved one, an unreasonable concern with becoming contaminated, or an excessive need to do things correctly or perfectly. These thoughts tend to be intrusive, unpleasant, and produce a high degree of anxiety. Sometimes the obsessions are of a violent or a sexual nature, or concern illness." Nuff said. There is a Chandramukhi in every one of us. Lakalakalaka to that.
5.Learnest not Closure. Seekest always patchbacks
Now if you’re a true blue KLK gf, you would have learnt one thing in all your years of blue contact lens wearing, cheap hair rebonding days. That relationships are never meant to be closed! If you so much so as decide to date a guy, you are pretty much stuck with falling back to his trap no matter how many girlfriends he has cheated on you with. It doesn’t matter if he’s kicked you or even missed murdering you by a split second because its LOVE. And no really, we KLKwomen love feeling like victims of abuse and like second class citizens. Why? A case of kallanaalum kanavan pullanaalum purushan maybe?
[Editor: *Applause* Now you know why I call you Tekka Thayamma]
