Keling Killahs: KLK Exclusive: 7112 Shalini

The O level results were out last Friday and throughout the island resounded the KLKries of O level graduates who either screamed in joy or groaned in horror [or who just wore too tight underwear in attempting to out-civvie the next dyed hair bloke], depending on the number of points they scored.

Keling Killahs fought through the thronging teens and caught up with one Yindian graduate, Shalini Sukumaran, who scored 7 A1s and 1 A2. The interview transcript is as follows:

KLK: So why the hell couldn't you just get straight As? What was the first thing your parents said when you told them your blemished score?

SS: What was the A2 for? Ha ha, in fact that's the question everybody asked me when I told them my results. It was for English Lit, so now you know.

KLK: They must have been pretty disappointed with your literary skills. You should have taken lessons from us. Walk us through the day you shamefully returned home with an A2.

SS: Well, in my school they made us all sit in the hall for about an hour, while they went through all the stats, like how we scored this year compared to last year, how many passes, how many fails etc etc. We were all so nervous, we hardly even listened to all that stuff.

KLK: Bloody inattentive A.D.D. kids. And then?

Then, they flashed the first powerpoint slide with all the 6 pointers, and I felt kinda disappointed my name wasn't in it. But on the second slide, my name was there, about half way down.

KLK: Kiasu we see. It's pretty obvious to us the list was in alphabetical order. But never mind that, what was your response?

SS: Oh, I just sat there and cried for about 10 minutes. It was a very emo moment lah, all your friends congratulating you, and all. Quite surreal.

KLK: Are you sure they were congratulating you and not going "Curses, **#$!#$**". So here is the "Kaun Banega Crorepati" question - who did you have to pay off to get these grades? You know, tell us about the hard work you put in sourcing targets for your "maamul".

SS: Lots and lots and lots of hard work. I started preparing for my Os right after my Sec 3 final exams. Yah, ha ha (laughs at shocked look on our faces), but I had to. There was a lot to cover. [After the editor's sec 3 exams, he was in fact hauled up to detention class because he still owed them 4 hours of standing at senang diri and staring into an oak panelled wall]

KLK: And obviously it paid [pun intended] off. So do you have any advice for all the KLKlanites who are sitting for Os this year?

SS: Advice ah? Do your work, even if its stupid repetitive rubbish. Full steam especially between Prelims and Os. [I have tons to say about the word "full steam" but yeah, NC16 it is]

KLK: So you didn't have any fun at all? Didn't spend hours upon hours skiving with your special "someone" at the malls?

SS: Sure got lah. But I cut down on my MSN and surfing time. Its amazing how much extra time that gives you. [Yes, of course, by special someone we meant your IMac]

KLK: Ok, we're done with you. Need bus fare to get home? Thanks Shalini for the chat. Where you running off to?

SS: Probably try and do it [7 A1s and an A2] again for A's. Which means I have to start right... about... now!

KLK: Right, you get right to that while we proceed to the nearest 7-11 and show you how essential a King Roberts is to us celebrating your good marks. Cheers to that la brudda.