MiserKlings

The very first contributor to KLKillahs, alas the bounds of society have rendered him anonymous. Nameless yet not wordless. Lend him your ears:
[The editors notes are in italics]

I was goin to visit a friend. Just bought a pack of ciggies, peeled of the plastic wrapper on it and took out my 1st stick. Just about to light it, I noticed 2 KLKs approaching me.

Apprehensive now for this was not the place where I usually hung out and if there was any trouble, i won't be able to get anyone to bail me out fast enough. [Why this thought even runs through your head is the problem with KLKs]

They then said hi to me. So i was relieved and thought they wanted to ask for a light. What happened next blew me off totally. Instead of a light, they asked me for a stick itself. I couldn't very well say i don't have because i had just opened my pack. [And don't Klings love to make others liars].

So i gave one to them.

What got me thinking is that how could all these KLKs be so cheap. The thing is simple. If you don't have money to smoke, then don't smoke.

You know what i hate more than an anjadi? A CHEAP anjadi.

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End of story, now I speak:

What is with the cheap ones anyway?

Your dad can't open a prata stall cos your schoolmates think it's their obligation to eat free? Your friend can't run a pub cos his friends think that means a license to drink- free?
Your mum is scared to shop at the Indian grocers' cos they inflate and deflate prices as they deem fit?

Ever had a friend ask you for one puff of your cig? What does one puff do, really. Solve your nicotine problem for the next 24 hours before you gotta beg for your next one? How bout if the same mofo asks you for a sip of your beer? You get high on one sip?

Remember there always was one guy in primary/secondary school who jus licked his plate clean but the cutlery remains in his hands, just waiting waiting for you to be done and pop his ultimate anti-climaxial question: "You gonna finish that?"

Vices are fine, just pay your own way through them will ya?
You, KLKanjaPisunaaris.

miser, singapore, keling, cigarette, cheap
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Dr K's Klinic

Guest of Honours. They are people who are to be held in the highest of regard. They are usually, more experienced than us in the ways of the world and have reached the peak in their field or industry. They have earned our respect. This is the usual image of a guest of honour at any normal event.

But in a KLKevent? Whole new ball game.

They clap 3 mins into the speech. Trying to embarass the GOH off the stage. They shout out cat calls and such. And the guy who starts this thing is a hero among the KLKs. Why? Because 'ithu ponne cool makke'. Anyone who disrupts or with minimal effort spoils others' weeks of hard work is considered to be the epitome of coolness.

Thats KLKs for you.

And KLK back stage crews. Absolute Geniuses. Smoke - dry ice - is cool. So what do they do? They use it in abundance. So much so that that entire section of the stage is not visible. So the poor dancers who spent weeks training for that dance are hidden in the smoke for the whole time.

Why? Because smoke is 'ponna violence la joe'.

Now Dr K's Klinic has closed for the day. Make an appointment for your next neurological assessment.

smoke machine, guest of honour, keling, variety, show
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